Sunday school lesson on the fifth commandment, 2004-10-31.
Q. 64. What is required in the fifth commandment?
A. The fifth commandment requires the preserving the honor, and performing the duties, belonging to everyone in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals.
See also Q 122-133 in the Westminster catechism.
Agenda
Attendance, scripture memory. This week’s memory: Exodus 20:12. Hand out Focus. Tally scripture memory and Bible-bringing if time permits.
In preparation for comparing “honor” and “obey”, draw some Venn diagrams; e.g. (apples, red things), (mammals, elephants), (continents, oceans).
Review tables.
The first four commandments “contain our duty to God”, while the last six “contain our duty to man”.
How are these six summarized? In loving our neighbor as ourselves and in doing to others what we would have them do to us.
Do “fifth commandment” fill-in-the-blank exercise. Read “they’re in charge”. (Read verses along the way.)
What does the blessing of “enjoying long life on the earth” mean (Deut 5:16, Eph 6:3)? There is both a “live long” and “go well with you” aspect.
How is honoring different from obedience? It gets at the attitude of one’s heart rather than mere actions on the surface. Can you obey your parents without honoring them? Can you honor your parents without obeying them? Refer to Venn diagrams.
What are specific ways in which we honor our parents? Respect them, pray for them, follow their example, obey them, submit humbly to their correction, be faithful to them, defend them, provide for them, bear with their weaknesses, love them.
Will you ever outgrow this commandment?
Is this commandment one-sided, or does God expect anything from your parents? God charges our parents to care for us, love us, and teach us to love and obey him.
Read Q 64. Pick apart what it’s saying.
Draw three columns: {honor, duties} → everyone ← {superiors, inferiors, equals}
Why does the catechism talk about more than just parents?
The writers are trying, in faith, to understand what is the most God expects of them. This is an amazing attitude — how much more often do we try to figure out what is the least we can get away with?
Father and mother are used throughout the Bible as pictures of our relationship with kings, leaders, pastors, those older than us in the church, etc.; so that in some ways our responsibilities to our parents serve as a model for these.
How does this commandment point to the gospel?
Parents and other authority are established by God (reiterate: their authority is from God, not themselves, their age, etc.), and so point to His authority as our creator. Parents in fact serve as representatives of God.
The law points to God’s holiness, and is a gracious reminder of our sin.
The care provided by parents and other authority is an expression of God’s loving and gracious care for us.
Read “must I obey”.
c.f. Daniel and the difference between arguing and appealing. Which is more humble and honoring? Daniel’s attitude was to ask permission and speak respectfully; his actions were to suggest an alternative and submit to the official’s decision. Tell personal story about vanpool fees; relate Phil’s story about speeding ticket.
c.f. Job’s complaining and God’s silencing him. God requires us to submit to authority even if we disagree. Regardless of the seeming unfairness of a situation, we are responsible to respond in a way that pleases and honors God.
Read “When parents get old”
c.f. 1 Tim 5:4, 8. Treat elderly parents with dignity and respect. We should care for our parents when they get old.
Discuss how students can care for their grandparents today.
Relate how God has used preparation to increase my faith and expectation for this.
Read “Summing up”
Challenge to gratefulness (expressed to God and to our parents), honor, repentance. Remind of God’s grace (refer to the gospel, self-righteousness).
Pray, possibly as a group, thanking God for parents, praying for hearts that seek to honor them more.